If you've ever lived on a college campus, you've had the pleasure of experiencing dorm life. Whether you had a great time, an awful time, or a time full of crazy adventures and fun stories, you can be sure it's helped form you into who you are now. What kind of experience you've had has a lot to do with the person or people you live with, and how you all interact.
Keep in mind, whether you're just moving into your first dorm room or you're a senior well versed in tricky roommate situations, you and your roommate are different people. Maybe you know them from high school and you grew up together, or maybe you're taking the luck of the draw. You both are going to have different beliefs about certain things and it's very important to make sure you both respect each other's beliefs and feelings.
Be honest. If something's going on that makes you uncomfortable, speak up! Your roommate isn't telepathic and neither are you. At the same time, think before you blurt anything out. Maybe schedule some time with your roommate for the two of you to clear the air. Use "I " statements, such as "I understand that your schedule prevents you from doing homework during the day, but it bothers me when you have all the lights on at 3 am." If you expect your roommate to listen to what you need to say, extend the same respect. If needed, you can ask your friendly neighborhood RA to mediate - don't be worried that they won't have time, the RAs are there to help make your experience a good one. If it's not that serious, use the 48 hour rule - if it's not a big deal and you don't say anything within 48 hours of the incident, let it go and don't bring it up.
Be clear about your expectations when you move in. Some colleges require roommates to sign "roommate agreements" or "roommate contracts". Take them seriously! It is a good idea to have one in case a issue arises in the future, because it can tell the two of you how to address it. It can also clear up potential awkward-ness that surrounds friends or significant others sleeping over or out-of-sync schedules. Understand that you're both going to want privacy at certain times and outline how you'll communicate those needs with each other.
For triple rooms or suites, things can get more complicated when more people are thrown in the mix. Set up a cleaning schedule, since those settings are not normally in the bounds of the dorm staff's job. Discuss the AC/heat and what a reasonable temperature is. If a conflict arises in the suite, the guidelines above are a good starting point for conflict resolution. If things escalate, it's very easy for one person to talk to the other people in the suite and leave out the person they actually have a conflict with. Don't do this! The other person involved in the conflict will feel like it's them against the entire suite. Address the conflict at its root!
Above all, remember your dorm room should be your home on campus, for both you and your roommate.
No comments:
Post a Comment